♥ Still trying to figure life out. ♥

if you're reading my little fanfic, i'm just letting you know that this coming week i have semester exams and so i wont be posting or writing like all week but then summer starts and ill hopefully be posting a lot!
Also, ive been thinking about adding a new character, so if you would like to be the new character then let me know! PM me, or comment or whatever :)

just some pictures that remind me of my amazing friends :)
Background info:
- Girl Best Friends: Alyx, Sabrina and Sarah
- Guy Best Friends: Nick, Kyle, Kaelyn, Jake
- Me and Alyx do gymnastics
- Me and Alyx and Sarah do ballet together
- ive known Nick since i was like 1, so we are like brother and sister but a lot of people we think were a couple..but we arent!
- Ive taken many trips with all of them, some with school, some with family and some just us
- Kyle and i were a couple for a few months, but it was weird so were just friends now
oh! and we are a pretty dysfunctional group of people, we all have our problems and get into fights but thats what makes it us

Just a warning that this is a little dark. So if you dont like that stuff then dont read it.
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Why do people hate me? Why? I’m obviously not as pretty as them. I’m ugly and fat and I know it. No need for them to go and point out all my flaws that are already visible to me. I turned my gaze from the looking out the window to my wrists and arms that have scars and fresh cuts all over them. He isn’t here today to make me feel beautiful. Without him here I broke down again. I always do. He usually is here with me, making me feel beautiful. Making me forget all the nasty things that those girls say to me.
Pulling out the razor I slide it against my flesh, letting the blood seep through my veins as I hear the comments run through my mind. Pointless, worthless, pathetic. Why am I still here? There is not point for me to breathe. Everyone hates me. Putting the razor down, I look at my wrist. See the dark blood falling onto my skin and onto the floor.
Might as well end this. No one likes me, no one cares about me. I’m ugly and fat and there is no point to my life.
I get up and go into the bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet and see the bottle. The pills. I try and open it but my hands are shaking so badly and I can’t open it. I hear my name but ignore it and keep trying to open the bottle. Finally its open and I hear the door burst open.
“Y/N! What are you doing?!” He screams.
“I can’t get it open!” I scream at him. I want it all to end. The pain, the tears. I know I’m hurting him but I can’t bring myself to care. I just want it all to end.
He grabs the bottle out of my hands and throws them to the floor. I throw myself at them trying to get them as they all scatter around the floor. “Look what you did!” I scream at him.
I can hear him saying things to me but I can’t hear them. Suddenly a pair of strong arms wraps around me. “No! I want to die!” I yell some more trying to get his arms off of me. I have tears running down my face as I struggle with his arms. But he refuses to let me go.
“I want to die.” I say, crying. “Shh…it’s okay…it’s okay…” He keeps whispering in my ear and I collapse in his arms. Both of us fall to the floor and I just stare at the pills on the floor.
“I want to die.” I keep mumbling over and over. I grab at his arms and keep crying. Why does everyone have to hate me? There is not point to my life Why can’t he just let me die?
“Y/N, I love you so much. You’re beautiful, and talented and amazing. I love you.” Harry just kept saying to me and I continued crying in his arms. His strong arms held me there for a long time. Just sitting there, letting me cry, cradling me and making sure I wouldn’t hurt myself more than I already had.
He loves me. He’s here now.
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What did you think? Yes, no? Terrible? Yep okay :)

just some things that i own in real life :)
its all clothing and shoes!!

i love all the 1D girlfriends but i especially love El because shes such a normal girl, before she was with Louis, no one even knew who she was, just minding her own business going to school and being her. She hasnt changed and shes beautiful and probably one of the nicest people ever!