I sat in my bathroom, trying to clean the fresh cuts on my thigh. While I was rubbing the wet cloth over my leg, I thought about what I was doing tonight. I was getting my freedom. After selling my guitar a couple weeks ago, I had the money to get an apartment in London. I was finally leaving Doncaster and my father and heading to London.
I looked back down at my thigh and saw that I had stopped bleeding. I got up from the floor and glanced in the mirror. My fingers lightly brushed the already forming bruise on my jaw. Tonight was a particularly bad night. My father had come home drunk as ever. He started yelling at me in drunken slurs and incomprehensible words before he punched me. Without thinking, I retaliated and shoved him away from me, but his response was to throw a nearby lamp at me. It shattered against my legs, creating shallow cuts everywhere, except a long deep gash in my upper thigh.
Sighing, I dropped the cloth into the sink and made my way to my closet to change out of my day clothes and into something more comfortable for traveling. After stripping, I pulled on my black leggings and cream tank top, matching my black Dr. Martins with it.
I sat on the window ledge and decided to wait until I needed to leave. It was getting dark outside, and I was getting nervous. Questions were running through my head, What if I don’t make it? What if I run out of money and can’t get a job to pay my rent fees? What will happen if he finds me? As if she could sense my stressing, Lucy padded over to me and so I lifted her onto the ledge with me.
“We’re getting out of here tonight Lucy.” I whispered into her white fur. She purred in response as I started petting her. “We are getting free.” I said to her before putting her on my bed and gathering as much of my things as possible. I was already somewhat packed, just had to grab a few more essentials and get Lucy’s things together.
I quietly made my way down the hallway and took a peak in my father’s room. Sure enough, he was passed out, on top of his bed covers and fully clothed.
I made my way back to my room to gather all my bags. I didn’t have a cat carrier so I had the task of putting Lucy in a big tote bag. She started meowing at me as soon as I put her in the bag. “Shh, it’s okay baby.” I whispered, scratching between her ears. Although I didn’t think she would wake my father up, I wasn’t taking any chances.
I grabbed my bags and slowly, walked down the stairs. After double checking to make sure I had everything I needed, I finally opened the door and walked out of that hell hole.
I plopped down into my seat and set the bag that contained Lucy in the space next to me. I pulled her out and onto my lap and she immediately clung to me.
London. I was finally out of Doncaster and heading to London. It’s all becoming real. I knew that when my father realized I was missing, he would come looking for me. But I felt confident that I left him no clues as to where I was going.
Lucy’s purrs could be heard as I rubbed her back, not only trying to calm her, but also myself as I started worrying and thinking back to all the planning that had gone into this. I smiled as her body relaxed and in return, my mind stopped racing and I calmed down a bit. She knew. She knew what I was doing, and how she knows we are now safe. I don’t know how she is still alive today. All the things my father has done to her, I’m surprised she is still with me and keeping as safe as she can. She’s suffered so much abuse by my father, and so have I, but I know that she tries to protect me. Growling and hissing at my dad whenever he came into a room with me in it. In return my father would throw her or shoo her away, sometimes he kicked her. But she’s stayed strong and so have I.
I grabbed my iPhone from my bag and put my ear buds in, letting the quiet music lull me to sleep.
After spending a week on the bus to London, I was ready to get out. It soon became too cramped and not a lot of people were very forgiving of the fact that I had a cat with me. Relief washed over me as I took in my surroundings and the bus pulled into its stop. I quickly gathered my things and asked for a map to navigate my way through the city and to my apartment. It was evening now and the streets were busy with people trying to get home after work. Deciding that it would be faster if I took the metro, I located the closet one and made my way to it.
I walked into my apartment and put my things down, leaving Lucy to roam about and explore her new home. Utterly exhausted, I praised my overthinking tendencies and plopped onto the couch. When I was searching for this apartment, I figured I wouldn’t be able to buy furniture, which forced me to buy an apartment already furnished.
Too tired to unpack, I got up and pulled a blanket from suitcase before walking back to the couch and lay down. My index finger ran over the tattooed lettering on my pinky. ‘PROMISE’. I promised my mom that I would get out of the house and make something of myself. That I wouldn’t settle with a man like my father. That I would be free. I am. I finally made it out of there. He can’t hurt me anymore.
I felt tears roll down my cheeks and my finger lifted to wipe them from my face as Lucy returned to me. She jumped onto my legs before walking up to my chest and settling down. I looked at her bright blue cat eyes and she stared back at me. “We did it.” I said to her. Her ears perked up and she let out a meow. I felt a presence near me and smiled knowing it was my mother showing that she was proud of me.
I curled up and began stroking Lucy’s head. I fell asleep in contentment and the realization that I was here. Finally free.
So! Here it is! Chapter 1! This is the new and completely improved chapter 1 for my story Pain Loss Love! Do you like it?! Please give me some feedback! With just seeing views and likes im not sure if you have even read it?? I will keep posting chapters but please feel free to comment or PM me telling me what you think! :) i promise i wont bite ;P
but seriously! please just let me know what you think! if you want, you can ask Kailee some questions? you can ask me (the author) some questions, if you do, i might reveal some stuff that is yet to come! Okay this is a long note, if you read all the way to here then thanks you! and i love you!! ♥♥♥♥
Caitlynne a.k.a the author lol okeey im done now